A Hand For Isolated Blackfolk In Thoroughly Whitewashed Pockets Of Our Diaspora Countries
The isolation from our kinfolk is real, and its effects are highly damaging
Isolated Blackfolk fear connecting with other Blackfolk, which is a big problem for the many of us in diaspora countries who have little to no black companions. For a reason which is surely spiritual we feel compelled to have black companionship, but we are afraid we will always be the odd one out, as if there is some secret code of conduct we weren’t told and therefore we can’t have black companions. We are afraid of the feelings of loneliness that the journey to fulfilling Black companionship will trigger, and we are even more afraid of being rejected. This fear often dominates us into a position of keeping relationships only outside our race, while inside we long for companionship with our kinfolk.
To some of you what I’m saying will sound strange or perhaps even condescending because I seem to be talking about Blackfolk as if we are rare beings, not a vast population as numerous as the sands of the sea. If I’m coming across to you like that, you probably live amongst a lot of Blackfolk, or have done in the past. Many of us, especially those in the more whitewashed pockets of our diaspora countries, can count on our fingers the number of Black companions we had, and this article is predominantly aimed at these Blackfolk. The isolation is real, and it seriously affects our mental, spiritual and physical health, because of course these are all interlinked. The isolation is extremely damaging and the very least we need to do is talk about it. If I sound like I’m treating Black companions like unicorns it’s because that is not too far from the truth of mine and other Blackfolk’s experiences.
I personally have found that learning about black history and our present realities helped me to naturally attract more black companionship into my life. I have been blessed with some very close black companionships since even before I discovered my identity, even though many did not last, and some went truly sour. This was much to do with the seeds of disconnection which racism sews in our hearts, pitting black against black and then condemning us for growing up in exactly the way they programmed us to. Our hate and fear for each other is largely imposed from the outside. To even want black companionship indicates a degree of liberation from mental and spiritual enslavement. For a long time I did not want it.
We lie to ourselves that we are content with having little to no black companions. We may not consider our black family to be companions because we don’t spend much time with them. The time we do spend with them may be draining because they are hostile towards us or simply unable to give back in the way a companion does due to illness or other extremely demanding circumstances. Truth is we need to have black companions because that’s our people, else we won’t have true belonging, and without true belonging it is incredibly difficult to find peace.
To have any real peace at all without Black companions in our life we’ll need to be connected to the Most High God Yah. Even if we do have black companions, or any black relationships for that matter, it is still imperative that we connect with Him by keeping His Commandments. Indeed, isolation can be conducive to our connecting with Him, because the loneliness and any related desperation can motivate us to reach out to Him with sincerity and consistency. If you do not believe that He exists, or that He is a He, I implore you to share your doubts out loud with deep sincerity and humility. Address your doubts to the Most High God specifically, not the secondmost, thirdmost or anyothermost high, use the abbreviated name Yah or even better His full name if He’s revealed it to you, and you may receive answers. He gives them, but why would you take my word for it? I’m just a dude on the internet.
Awakenings of mind and spirit are renowned for pulling us away from social connections and into solitude. It is something which simply must happen at times to allow deep transformation to occur within our selves and lives. It is also something we may find becomes a necessity as our circumstances and preferences become incompatible with the way the awakening changes us. We may choose to be alone because Yah has not currently put anyone in our lives with whom we authentically desire to connect. We may seek out connection and have our attempts thwarted because Yah does not want us to be intimate with manyone or anyone right now. It is truly beyond our control at these times. Other times we are just lazy, or afraid, tired, feeling and being some kind of way which seems to keep us from connecting. With regards to this journey, where are you at right now? Please don’t respond with your answer to that question if you feel doing so would be an indiscretion. I am seeking to inspire contemplation, not necessarily connection here, unless that’s how He wants to move you.
On a more down-to-earth note, our loneliness and longing for Black companionship puts us seriously at risk of being played, as I’m sure many of you know only too well. I too have been seriously played by Blackfolk who I let get too close because I allowed my longing to put me in naivety then missed clear signs that I was walking off a cliff. When I mean serious, I am talking excellent work opportunities lost because of knives in my back. It is serious, which is why I use that word many time. My love for us goes to the bottom of the ocean and I know you all feel the same, for some of us that feeling is buried, but it is true as we say that all skinfolk ain’t kinfolk. I pray our communities come together in the way that Yah wants us to, and I pray He makes me part of us in the way I’m supposed to be. This is one way He wants me to connect with us right now. Shalom.
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